Midnight.
Midnight, always give me a sense of deep connection with my feelings. Like.. Put this in words is something I have a hard time to do. Seriously, it's hard still but someone ever said on Twitter "writing is to be honest with self". Like I ever said, "be honest with what you want to do" - my answer for an art platform question.
Midnight where my thoughts grow.
Maybe it's because I have things to do and deal in the morning. Else than things at home, gardening or landscaping if it's sunny day, do my handmade stuff or drawing, playing with my indoor plants (oh I still not put out why I started having them), or cooking.
Past 12am where actually it is, usually give my mind some space to absorb all in the day without put my mind on heavy levels, these days.. It's much more lighter now. But maybe because midnight where I'm at just quiet, not much of sound from TV, where usually I'll turn it down a bit. Obviously because my parents sleeping.. And I will take the time to process everything, like, what for tomorrow, what I need to get if outing, what I will do, that kind of thing..
But recently, I think and I feel too, to want to go slow with everything.. Like, allowing myself to slow down with things specially at home. Such as doing dishes. Slowing down a bit I think it's not wrong. It's not lazy but give myself, my body and my mind time to process things around. I will do when I feel like it but not to the extent of abandoned it all. Just for few days, and come back with amount of better energy - not pressuring, not rushing. Just know that "okay, today I'm on it!". This not exhausting my body when my mind and energy is recovering from tiredness dealing with standing up at my booth on weekends. And I think my body needs it, deserve it.
What our body feels today, the results is in the future.
I think for body to stay well, it needs more than just balance of meals, enough sleep and rest, but for whole of it made up from - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A quote "your body can't be good when your mind is tired", always remind me that I need to take things slowly and one by one, one at the time. It's not easy for some people with their situation - so this slowing down with things, is just not available for some people... I know..
But for me, I want to be able to do it. Although most of times I can't catch up but, at night, perhaps? Or more, midnight.. But can't every day. Still I want to try in any days I could get a chance to do so. While not forcing myself at the same time. Just let loose in the process. This might take time but maybe, it's worth to try, even for a bit... So I'm slowing down when I feel like I'm running, chasing and rushing around in what I do. Stop, pause. Then acknowledge that thing won't finish anyway..
So give myself time and space to process things at midnight, somehow it's part of my life for whole these times.. I just don't really know or get it until few years back and recently and knowing that it's my body calling for it, need it.. A calling of my soul.
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